“you’re cute when you’re angry”

Trigger Warning: This piece examines sexual abuse/assault.

Drinking a latte, she talks to us like we are a girlfriend at Starbucks:

The other day, Josh didn’t take out the trash after dinner again like he said he would, even though it’s his only job as like the man. So I said: “Josh, you didn’t take out the trash again!” And he said: “You’re cute when you’re angry.” And he kissed me. And then I took out the trash.

Last week, Josh was supposed to call to schedule a rental car for our trip and I found out last night that he just didn’t and now it costs way more. So I was like: “Josh, you told me you scheduled this last week.” And he was like: “I like you when you’re mad. It’s sexy.” And then we made out.

Last night, I was sitting at Thaitation for like two hours alone waiting for Josh. Texting him like crazy. No answer. Finally he shows up and says he’s sorry he is late, his phone died and he went out with his coworkers for drinks and lost track of time. I’m pissed and I’m like: “Josh, I’m not even hungry anymore.” And he’s like: “Me neither. I got wings with the guys.” Then we went home and had sex.

I was telling Josh about how my boss keeps putting his hand on my low back and how much it bothers me. And he said: “Your face is turning bright red. It’s hot.” And I said: “No Josh, I’m serious. I’m thinking of filing a sexual harrassment claim.” And he said: “You’re all riled up. It’s sexy.” And he grabbed onto my hands and he said: “Your palms are all sweaty. It’s such a turn on.”

I woke up the other day and Josh was inside me, like doing me and I didn’t even know. And I got kinda scared and freaked out, like: I was totally asleep. Like unconscious. So I was like: “Josh, get offa me!” And he was like: “Yeah, baby. I like it when you’re angry.” And I tried to shove him off me and he was like: “Mmm… yeah, baby, fight back! You’re like a cute little lioness when you fight back.” And I was like: “Josh, I’m serious. I don’t want this.” And he was like: “Oh yeah? Are you going to get angry again cause you know how much it turns me on when you’re angry. I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.” And I tried to push him off and he held me down.

So like: did he like? Okay, like – this is gonna sound weird – but do you think Josh like… did he like – rape me?

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